March 2011 Issue

First Word: March 2011

LSA: Still Falling Short

When the nuns were futilely trying to educate me at Saint Johnís Academy for the Perpetually Misguided, the monthly report card had a blank section for comments. These were meant to be well-intentioned encouragement for depressed parents who, upon seeing columns of Ds and Fs, understandably veered toward alcoholism, if not suicide. For my monthly dispatches of despair, Sister Salisha may as well have had a rubber stamp since she wrote the same thing: Paulís grades continue to fall short of his potential. (If you came of age during the 1960s, your report card said the same thing, unless you were one of those curve-busting nerds who ruined the academic careers of those of us who were too busy teaching ourselves to smoke behind the rectory to actually study.)

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